04.01.08

Dropping eaves in the computer lab

Posted by Varies at 1:49 pm in love, Justice

So there’s this girl who was sitting next to me not 5 minutes ago, and she was on the phone with her friend, complaining about an email that her [former] boyfriend sent her. She reads a passage from the piece, something about her not being mature and how he doesn’t want to be in a relationship with someone who’s immature. Oh, and that he never asked her what her mother did for a living because she had told him that she didn’t make much money… whatever that means. All I know is that she was apparently too self-centered to realise his intentions (this according to the email). I don’t know the girl, but if the phone conversation I overheard was any indication, the guy certainly has a case. Putting aside whatever foibles I may have observed in my brief sidelong encounter with this young lady, what kind of person yammers on over her cell phone about private matters in the middle of a crowded computer lab? Surely only an immature sort!

Anywho, the take home lesson is this: if your boyfriend sends you a scathing email, don’t get all indignant and start venting on your cell while in the middle of a quiet computer lab. The jerk sitting next to you will write about you on his friend’s blog, saying how you’re immature and that your boyfriend was right: you’ve got some growing up to do.

Isn’t it fascinating though? The concept of sending mean break-up letters? I mean sure, that girl was probably not worth your time, but you didn’t have to be such a jerk about it. Take the high road, friend.

Man defends title: “It’s a pun, guys. Seriously.”

Posted by Varies at 1:24 am in grammar

Here’s a list of real headlines where the writers had way too much to drink before sitting down to work. If you have trouble reading things in more than one way, you will likely not find this funny at all.

Some choice cuts for your lazy unclicking selves:

LBJ Giving Bull To Mexican People

Milk Drinkers Turn to Powder

New Study of Obesity Looks for Larger Test Group

Beating Witness Provides Names

Enraged Cow Injures Farmer with Ax

Police Can’t Stop Gambling

Crammed as a double entendre

Posted by Varies at 12:51 am in and college

When your assignment says that you need only write a single double-spaced page, don’t get cocky and think that it’s oh-so-easy. Because when you’ve got to paraphrase a 12 page research paper — covering all the points, adding your own criticisms, and generating ideas for possible research — and cram it all into a measly 23 lines, it sucks. Especially if you’re doing it at the last minute. So, man, even though it’s only one page, do yourself a favour and get it done in advance. It’ll still suck, but at least it won’t be like cramming an ostrich into a penguin and then cramming the penguin into a tightly clenched orifice.

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