04.07.08
I look like a teenager
No, perhaps I look like a preteen. Because I’m shorter than the average genetically enhanced bovine-growth-hormone injected teenager of today. Because I’m naturally hairless. Because I don’t gel my hair or dress like a frat boy (like so many teens do these days). I mean, I do what I can by wearing grey slacks, black leather shoes, and sweaters that fall along the black to white spectrum. Even so, I get asked to show I.D. when going to see rated-R movies or buying M-rated games. When I went to get my laptop repaired, the repairman asked what colleges I was looking at! Imagine his surprise when I told him I was graduating [from college] in a month!
Is it my fault that teenagers look 5 years older than they actually are? Do I have to wear a fake beard or something to look my age? Do I have to develop a gut like some of my peers have? Maybe if I spiced up my wardrobe with some Hollister or American Eagle — you know, the popular teenager brands — I’d actually look like a 21 year old.
Ehh, maybe it’s a good thing to look young. I could see that side of the argument. The next time I get challenged to a street-race by some kid at a stop light, I’ll try to keep that in mind.