11.05.07
I suppose I must have egg on my face
The other day, I wondered atop the Brazos parking garage for a moment to get a good look at the city of Austin. I looked at Jester and its bizarre and brutalist design, the big city with the capitol building peaking out amongst other things, the Dobie Tower, the rooftops of a few little museums and such, the nearby cooling plant, and the whale-like stadium standing most prominently of all. It was all rather mesmerizing. I looked out upon it kind of a trance, utterly alone without a car in sight and just wind blowing. It was a meditative moment. It had been a rough week. But the night was soothing.
I walked around the block for a few minutes. I wandered across Martin Luther King Jr. Boulevarde to get a look at the reception going on in the museum, where some rich folk had a live band playing and a chocolate fountain oozing amongst other things.
And still lonely, I waded my way back to campus, passing by a quaintly placed cop who seemed to be on foot patrol. I looked at a few pieces of standing art, then lay on a bench for a while. The cop passed me, and I got nervous. After a while I stood up and walked, only for him to come up and ask me a few questions.
Apparently, he observed me contemplating atop the garage. But had I been contemplating… he would not name it explicitly. He just pointed out that people get some funny ideas when they’re on top of… garages, I guess. Hilariously put, on his part. They asked if there was anything I needed help with and I told them no. They sent me on my way, and I went indoors where they would stop watching me discreetly.
At first, I was impressed that they keep their eye out for possible suicides. But then I realized something dreadful - he had questioned me as to how long ago I had been atop the garage, and I checked my phone to see that it had been twenty minutes (as I had made a call atop the garage), and I had simply done nothing after that.
So, if it’s gonna take them twenty minutes to stop me from jumping, boy, how effective are they really at making sure I am not dead? I keep thinking there’s a quick answer to this one, but of course there isn’t one. There are no quick answers to anything in life.
Which is why, of course, I didn’t jump.
Varies said,
November 5, 2007 at 8:18 am
Awesome story, loved the ending.
I’d go easy on the cops though! I’m sure they’ve seen their share of jumpers and that their methods have some reason to the rhyme. I’ve talked to maybe half a dozen suicidal people (and concerned friends of suicidal people), and a common theme is that the last thing any of these people have wanted to deal with is the police. I made the mistake of mentioning the police to a caller who was worried about a suicidal friend, and she instantly hung up. It might be a matter of culpability as well as a matter of protecting the police officers themselves. You would never want to “push” someone over the edge by trying to intervene.