09.30.07

Prescriptivists

Posted by Varies at 8:30 am in grammar

Surprisingly, this sentence contains a nonstandard grammatical device! (Can you spot it?) Normal people like you and I don’t care that the adverb at the start of that sentence does not describe a verb, adjective, or adverb; but a ‘good’ prescriptivist probably would.

For those of you who aren’t into the whole ‘grammar scene,’ the word prescriptivist probably holds little meaning for you. What’s a prescriptivist? A prescriptivist is a dude who goes around telling other people how language ‘ought to be,’ while ignoring how language actually ‘is.’ They’re known in some circles as grammar nazis, but prescriptivists don’t limit themselves to correcting you every time you use use the word “can” when asking for permission. Prescriptivists like their English to adhere to the letter of the law. They blame people who muff their parts of speech for all of society’s ills, and they seem to think that if we all used proper grammar, the world would be free of chaos. It can be hard to communicate with them because they tend to write-off everything you say unless you use perfect grammar. They think they’re so clever when take things literally! You’ll say “can I have some cheese,” and they’ll reply, “I don’t know. Can you?” While statements like that might have been cool back in 2nd grade and may still amuse the more nostalgic types, they are especially tiresome to descriptivists like myself. Interestingly enough, a lot of the people who jump to correct others’ “mistakes” often know less about grammar than they realise. Back when the Dan Patrick Show was still airing, there would be callers every show who would phone in angrily demanding that all instances of the compound subject “you and I” be replaced with “you and me.” I’m not entirely sure why these people (wrong though they are) are so eager to correct others. It might be a better idea to correct themselves first, you feel me?

The problem as I see it is that they’re so focused on this lofty ideal and an impossible standard of conformity that they lose sight of the reality. The reality is that perfect grammar is not programmed into our DNA, nor is it worth it for every person to spend the time learning every obscure rule of grammar. Furthermore, if everyone expressed themselves with perfect grammar, there would still be crime, poverty, and chaos in the world. Maybe they think the world would be a better place if the guy who mugs you in the backalleys could demand your money with perfect English? When it all comes down to it, language is there for communication. If you understand what someone is saying, you ought to just let the minor mistakes slide. To become fixated on the mistakes means losing sight of what other people are saying, and, often times, the corrections are an impediment to communication. Trying to fix people’s language errors seems counterintuitive when it ends up interfering with the whole purpose of the language.

Now don’t get me wrong, I’m not one of those people who believes that no grammar rules should apply. There’s clearly a tipping point where language passes from decipherable into the realm of the incomprehensible. I daresay that ebonics is moving toward that direction, and I would say the same about some internet slang (once it gets that far though, we acknowledge it as a new and separate “sublanguage,” so there’s really no point in getting upset about the perversion of English). There should be rules, but we should also be mindful of changes in what is generally accepted and go with the flow.

So, though I may occasionally err, I would recommend you hold your wagging tongue and temper your sense of self-superiority. Just because I don’t correct you, it doesn’t mean that you never make mistakes! I let it slide because I’m sensible, and I would encourage everyone to act with the same sensibility.

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